What not to do in church

Or maybe this post should be titled, "What? Me, A Freak?"

Maybe you go to this kind of church yourself. And maybe your pew-mate is someone like this.

OCALA - A 59-year-old man was sentenced to five years in prison Wednesday for inappropriately touching three women in his church choir last spring.

Circuit Judge Willard Pope also sentenced Robin Forbes to eight years of probation and two years of community control, shortly after a six-member jury found the defendant guilty as charged on three counts of battery on a person over age 65. Each offense carried a maximum five-year prison term.

Forbes was a new member of the First United Methodist Church of Ocala and sang baritone in the choir at the time of the incidents.

On three separate occasions, he reached behind the women and either squeezed their midsection or touched the side of their body in a way that that made them uncomfortable, the women testified in court.

Forbes would also dress in female clothing during Sunday church services, showing up in a "lacy skirt and lacy blouse, white tennis shoes with pink laces, a blonde curly wig and very heavy makeup," said Mary Lou Baker, 70, one of the victims.

Nah, the guys not a freak. Instead, he's...well you gotta love this defense:

Assistant Public Defender Darian Wagner said Forbes was simply not liked at the church for his unconventional preference for dressing as a female.

"What Mr. Forbes is guilty of is being an ugly chick," she said during opening statements, adding there were no witnesses to the reported incidents.

I've looked at his/her/its picture as a man...and I have to agree.

Assistant State Attorney Lori Henry requested a 10- to 15-year sentence for the defendant, who despite of his cross-dressing tendencies, she said, was never discriminated against by the church community.

"He's in a place they're bending over backwards to accept him," she told the judge before sentencing.

I don't know about the bending over backwards of acceptance the church has. Could have been part of the problem.

But what do I know. I don't go to any church.

Sounds kinda fun, though.